Posted in Stories, How to be a hero

John Just [7]

“So, to answer some questions. You are propably eager to know a lot of things. And i really mean a loooot of them, right? So lets get this started. What do you want to know Martin?”, John said with a bit of a annoyed voice. While he seemed like the kind of being that would enjoy explaining his deeds, he seemingly didnt really like to talk about his people in general.

“First of all, whats a archetype? What do you mean with your Patriarch? And what kind of beings are you guys to begin with?”, i asked swiftly while trying to get my mind straight. It was kinda hard for me back then. Everything was so new to me – it seemed like i discovered something as the first person ever and i should get to know everything about it so that i could share later on. From my pov that i have right now i can say that i wasnt totally wrong with that, but i wasnt totally right either.

“We are starting right there? Really?”, he said while rolling his eyes. “You humans really dont know anything about Anils, huh? Its amazing how little the self-proclaimed master-race of the earth knows about its inhabitants. Now, im not trying to to judge you, dont worry. We Anils did a lot of shitty stuff aswell, yes. Thats what we do, mostly. Atleast some of us. Now to answer the questions, yes. What would you think what i would be if you wouldnt have known about Anils?”.

“I would have thought you are a fox.”, i said to John.

“Exactly. A fox. And thats pretty much my archetype.”, he said while making himself comfortable on a tree trunk. “We dont really call it fox, we call ourselves Kitsune. Thats pretty much the same though, only in japanese. We kitsunes love japanese culture. Thats were we originate from after all.”

“So you guys are like japanese?”, i asked him. As an answer to that he laughed loudly.

“Thats not really it Martin. The archetypes represent different kind of fundaments for us Anils. Anils are all based on animals of the earthly wildlife. My archetype is based on foxes. We are not all born in japan. My ancestors are from Scottland. Its more about the culture that we embrace. We believe in the great nine-tailed fox spirit. Hes our god. And we are his children, the kitsune.”, John explained.

“We got the abilities of a fox and also sometimes possess abilities that you humans say the great fox spirit also possesses, like shapeshifting.”

“Interesting. So you are like a race of Anils that is based on the fox spirit.”, i tried to sum his explanaitions up.

“Something like that. And the Patriarch is something like our leader and our highest religious figure. He decides what our kind while do in a more general sense. If he says that we want to go public with our existence then we do just that. Its that simple. We follow, we dont question. Thats how it usually works.”, he said while rolling his eyes again.

“Usually?”, i asked, while trying not to look to sceptical.

“Yep. Do you humans know that kind of thing too? Some of us grew tired of our great leaders and did our own thing. Its more of a general rule to many out there these days, we dont follow every little thing that the Patriarch is saying anymore. We got lazy”.

“Yes, we humans kinda know that phenomenon”, i said while sitting down on the tree trunk to him. Could it be that our people are not all that different?

“So, John, what are you doing then? I mean, like, for work? You guys do work, right?”

“Oh absolutely. Im a wood cutter.”, he said to me while grining. His eyes were full with pride and i immediately noted in my head that i shouldnt say anything negative about his job.

“Thats… a nice job. You provide the wood for your living places and all that stuff, right?”, i asked him while trying to not insult him in any way.

“Yeah, something like that. We live underground and we use the wood to reinforce our caves-”

Suddenly, he stopped talking mid-sentence. He swiftly moved around with eyes wide open. His long, furry ears were moving like little satelitte dishes.

“Sorry Martin, got to go. Seems like something came up.”, he jumped up from the trunk.

“Can we talk again sometime?”, i asked him.

“Sure, im here at this place like every day. The wood isnt cutting itself.” Right after saying those last few words he ran away through the bushes, seemingly in a hurry. As i know today, he was running late to get back from work to his home-cave. I-


 

“Dad!”

“W-What?”, Martin startled up from his desk where he had written down texts of history. “What is it Julia?”, he shouted through his apartment.

“I cant find the remote. Where did you put it?”, the female voice shouted back at him.

“One second, im coming!”, he quickly added the last few lines to his text before getting up and leaving the room. While he went out of them room he glanced over to the window where he was able to see the boy of the apartment next to his, sitting on his desk in his apartment infront of a computer, as usual. ‘That boy… Does he ever do anything else?’, Martin asked himself before closing the door to his workroom.

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The Autobahn

The Autobahn is the german highway. I imagine the name is kinda known in some places around the world since it sounds funny is kind of connected to the Nazis. They built quite a few of those back in the day. Or rather, they forced others to do that, but lets not go there. History is important, but this would get awfully serious and sad since german history is a prime example of what humanity does when it turns evil.

Lets focus on the Autobahn instead. I drove like 12 hours on it during the last 2 weeks. Amazingly boring. Im not even kidding. This is also related to me not being a fan of driving cars in general.

I really just dont like it. Driving cars is a tool for me. I do it because i have to to get to other places. I dont do it for fun and if i wouldnt be living somewhere rural i wouldnt drive around and propably wouldnt even own a car. Thats the kind of person i am. Opinions may differ on that, surely.

But also because of that i am horribly bored to drive long distances, especially on the Autobahn. My brain just doesnt know what to do during the drive itself. Theres like a monkey up in there that stares out of my brain holes and tries to make shit interesting, but just cant. Because of that hes going crazy and starts destroying things.

Im also way more exhausted from that because of all this. Next time i go somewhere i will totally take the train. Atleast i dont have to focus to get there safely then.

Posted in Heroes and Villains, Stories

The meeting in the forest [6]

I heard a rustling sound being me in the bushes. I turned around quickly, awaiting a wild animal to attack me. But it was not like that. There was no wild animal.

All i saw was a strange creature, similar to the ones that i saw on the TV in the office when they showed the video from the political events where the meeting with the Anils happened. But this was different. Allthough the creature looked similar it was different. It looked like a fox. A fox that wore pants a bright yellow shirt. If you would have paid attention to it you would have propably seen him from very far away. He was like the size of a 10 year old kid. His long nose was just like the one from a fox and his long bushy tail was frozen in place while his brown eyes were starring at me in shock.

I didnt know what to do. I was shocked aswell, but after several minutes of just looking at each other without moving a single limb i came a bit back to my senses. ‘I need to do something’, i thought to myself and brought myself into a normal, vertical position. The creature nervously flinched as i as doing so, seemingly doing the motion to run away from me. But it did not do so. Or rather he did not do so. “Hey”. Thats what i said to it with a bit of a shaking voice. The eyes of the fox-like creature got even wider as i was saying that. “He-ey…”, he responded slowly. “So this is a bit awkward, right? I have never seen a fox wear clothes before”, i said to him with a fake laugh on my lips. “Yeah, totally awkward…heh.”, he mumbled to himself. “PLEEEASE, dont kill me!! I swear i wont bother you again! Please!”, he suddenly cried out loud while dropping to his knees. “Oh, and please dont tell anyone that you have seen me, right? I will get in trouble if anyone finds out”, he added while suddenly switching to interested and normal looking stance. Me, being kinda irritated by this sudden change of attitude, answered accordingly: “Yeah sure, i dont tell anyone or something…”.

After that we starred awkwardly at each other again. After a short while he said, “Hey, you see, i got to go now. We are cool, right? Seee yaaaaaa…” while moving around to the bushes behind him. “Wait!”, i yelled while grabing his arm. It was actually quite fluffly, i wasnt expecting that. He had short brown-red fur that seemed like someone took care of it in just the right ways. “W-What are you doing? HEY! What is this?”, the fox-creature started to yell with a nervous voice. “Let me go right now. Right now!”. “Sorry, i just – i cant do that. You are one of those guys that were at that big political event, right? Or i dont know. You look just like them”, i said to him. I was curious at that time – i got someone just like all those creatures on TV right infront of me. Maybe i could still do something worthwhile today. “I… I dont know what you are talking about. Political event? Nooooooo. I have neeeeever heard of that. Never. Really. Never ever. Is that a dinosaur behind you? Look. Look over there and let me go, pleeeease?”, he nervously said. “Im not letting you go until you tell me. Are you connected to those guys? What is going on here?!”, i nearly screamed at him with impatience. I wanted answers from him, seemingly expecting him to be part of all that. Little did i know back then that he was just as much a small cog as me.

“Woooo chill dude! Alright alright, i give you an answer. Atleast something similar to that. Just dont rip my arm of, please! I cant grow them back!”, he yelled at me. I maintained my grip on his arm while being extremly cautious. I would have never forgiven myself if he would have just gotten away without giving me any answers.

“Matter of fact, i also have questions for you. You are one of those things that are called humans, right? Those meaty fleshy things without fur. Gosh, you guys look so silly. Dont you get cold in winter?”, he asked while being excited.

“Hold on, you wanted to give me answers! Do it!”, i said while trying to force him to tell me what i want.

“Hey, my arm! Fine man, lets trade – i try to tell you what i know and you tell me what you know. Deal?”, the creature asked me, awaiting my answer. I nodded silently after a few seconds of thought. I had nothing to loose, so why not?

“Alright, so that you wont rip my arm of afterall, ill start.” He forced his arm out of my grasp.

“Yes, im similar to those guys that were at your funny event there, but no, im not one of them. I just look like one of them. Matter of fact, the one that looked like a fox just like me that was there in the background was the leader of our archetype, Patriarch Benedikt. Hes a great guy. I think. Ive never meet him, we arent exactly close. Hes living somewhere else to begin with, so i wont meet him anyways. Cant tell you though were he lives, sorry”, he started talking with a fast voice. He seemed to enjoy me listening to his blabbering a lot. My eyes were glued onto his mouth while he was talking to me and he had a smile on his face while he continued. Alteast i think that it was a smile – its sometimes hard to tell with Anils.

“Archetype? Patriarch?… “, i asked confused. “Before you continue though, one small thing. Im sorry i was so harsh right now. I blanked. You seem like…something friendly. I didnt mean any harm. Im Martin, nice to meet you”.

“Hah, so now you are friendly? No worries though, i dont mind that. I mean, why would i? huh? Why would i ever? You see, im not all that smart, right, but i know what we Anils did. What our kind did right today. It wasnt all that horrible, but it must have seemed that way to you guys. So since you are friendly now, let me do the same. Hi Martin, im John. John Just. Just is my lastname. It is weird, i know. We are actually are able to choose our lastnames freely were i come from and i just like the sound of that. Hopefully it is nice to meet you too for me. Lets see about that. So, to answer some questions…”

Get a breather from time to time

You really should do that. It’s helpful. Now, this sounds like it would be something so obvious that everyone should know it by default, but truthfully, it isn’t. Sometimes we tend to overexert ourselves. Maybe it is because we do things that we want to be done. Maybe it is something for someone that we like and love. There are all kinds of motivations out there. But even if we have reasons like that, if you go over your limits way too much you will feel it afterwards. 

For example I helped my girlfriend move, right? I did it because I love her, obviously. I want to help her as much as possible. Though while doing so I went over my threshold of what I can actually really do. I felt this that one night too. A lot. I drove around for hours, moved a lot of stuff in her apartment and built her couch. I was so done after that. So was my girlfriend. It was really important that we took it easy the days following that one. Otherwise we probably would have gotten ill or something like that.

But it’s a conflicting thing for me you know. On one side I like to exert myself a bit, on the other side I don’t want to overdo it. The line isn’t so clear – when is it too much and at what point should I make a break?

Posted in Blogging

Decisions

Just yesterday i questioned myself what i actually should do with this blog. I posted about this too. What am I to do with this platform that i created for myself to express my thoughts?

I thought quite a bit about this in the last 2 days. In the beginning i was really negative about it. I thought that i should stop blogging in general. It seemed futile to me – it didnt seem to me like i was getting anywhere with that what i was doing. But what was i really doing in the last few weeks?

And this is the moment where i need to be honest. I flaundered. I started this blog, as i posted 2 days ago too, to express my thoughts and ideas in some sort of written form. I didnt start with the intention that others out there should actually like what i do here. I just wanted to get all that stuff out there so that i dont have to keep it to myself anymore. Deep inside of me i hoped that some of you guys might like my posts and stories, but i didnt want to admit that to myself. So i just started doing my thing. in the beginning i didnt even post regularly, i did it how i felt i should do it.

But after a while things turned out to what i actually thought about the whole blogging thing. I want you guys out there to read my posts. I dont do it just for myself, although this is one of the reasons too.

In general there are 2 main reasons for me to post on this blog:

1. That what i meantioned above. I do it for myself. Its like a therapy to me – i think a lot in my daily life and i need to get all that stuff out of me. I cant tell all of that to other people because every person gets annoyed at some point if you mention something often enough. But a blog doesnt get annoyed. Thats a plus. The only thing that will happen here is that people online wont give it a like. But that shouldnt matter all the time – sure, sometimes it does, but even if you guys dont like it i still want to be proud of what i wrote. Which brings me to the other reason.

2. I do it so that others enjoy it. I have to admit that to myself. I want you guys to like what i do. I want to create content that people read and dont get bored with. Thats the point of stories in general i believe and it shouldalso be the goal of normal blog posts – like, i posted about the weather a few times. Does that really matter to anyone? I highly believe not. It does not matter to me either. So why do i even post something like that?

Simple reason – i just wanted to post something. This is a problem that i noticed a while ago that i want to deal with several changes to my blog that i will write about in a second. I wrote that i posted daily so i always wanted to post daily. But i also want to create good content that is longer then just 20 words. This wont work out in the long term.

And so, lets talk about changes. First of all, you might have noticed it already, i changed the blog theme. You might not like it, but i believe it gives the blog a unique touch. Im really just scrapping along too, so a theme with the name “scrapbook” is really not all that wrong. I also want to focus on my texts, so i want to present you a site that provides you with a good environment to be able to do so.

I also will change my blog post schedule. You will not notice all that much of it most of the time. But let me explain that a bit.

I used to blog every day in the last few weeks and months. I wont do that anymore. Atleast i wont guarantee that anymore. My guaranteed blog posts will go online every 2 days from now on. I might post one or more posts between those, but if i dont want to i wont. Simple stuff. This hopefully will give me some more time to create actually really good posts and not just something like ‘Its raining over here. Amazing stuff’.

I also want to focus again on more stories and maybe even drawings. You might have noticed this aswell, the drawing that represents the logo that i have on this blog right now is made by me. I may not the best artist out there, but atleast its made by me, right?

That image and the one from this post also shows what kind of general theme i want to go for on this blog – its not content related, but i really like bears. My girlfriend mentioned before that i kinda look like a bear too. So i will keep it all bear-like on this blog.


Alright, now that i wrote all sorts of things about how my blog is changing right now and in the next few days, theres some more stuff regarding my stories.

A few weeks ago i started creating flash fiction stories. I still really like that and i want to continue writing those. I also had a longer story going on that i posted about from time to time. I wont continue that one. I feel like i wrote myself into a corner with that one. Even though i still want to express something similar to that story that i wrote about in those posts in the past i dont want to do it the way i did it until now. The start from it was good in my opinion – trying to tell a story with a character that explains stuff by creating a history of past events. I noticed that that i moved too much into the past. I couldnt get out of that to the present of the story without creating something weird. So i will sack it to start a new longer story. Ill explain the world and the history there like a documentation too – it wont be something that a person explains fromhis own perspective though – more like a history lesson in school or so. Im not really sure yet. I will post the remaining posts that i have about that though. There are like 2 and a half posts left.


So, i will get my next story post of my old, now discontinued, story out there on sunday. Have fun out there until then!

Posted in Stories

Flash fiction: Alone in the snow

He was making his way through the cold winds of the winter. The snow was pilling up around him. His trusty horse was with him, trying to move forward through the heaps of snow.

Around him was nothing but cold snow. Even the largest plants, like trees, he could not see. It was just snow. A lonely and dark place to be for humans and horses alike, both creatures of the light.

But then in the distance there was something else. Something dark that stood out of the snow. It was a large metal cross. Crusted from the effects of the weather through the times it stood in the middle of nowhere, not being affected by the storm that was ravaging around it. When he looked up and saw it his face brightened up. Did god not forsake them after all?

Posted in Blogging

Thoughts about blogging

I started blogging for real a few months ago. I believe it was in may when I decided to go all in with this whole thing. I kinda believe that this right now is a good time to sum up how far I have gotten.

Before I write anything else, I never advertised my blog anywhere actively. I thought about it, but I believe that if the people out there deem my content good enough I will succeed. 

I have to admit though, It seems like my stuff isn’t really all that interesting, especially recently. I knew right from the start that I will never have much of an audience to begin with since I’m not trying to cater to any trends or wishes. I just wanted to do my thing. That’s how it started. But quickly this turned into something else where I was only happy if people showed interest in my posts. This doesn’t work though with the kind of stuff that I do here and with the way I do it. 

To sum it up, I believe I failed. I gained new followers and some good people out there are reading my stuff sometimes, but I’m posting daily – how good can my stuff ever be like that and would it be better if I would take more time to create it?

I don’t know an answer to that. I will consider changing all sorts of things here on my blog now. Maybe it’s even time to consider drastic changes like focusing on certain kinds of blogging. Only stories or something like that. Or maybe I should quit. All the possibilities are on the table for me right now. 

One thing I know though – I can’t just post what I want and expect people to like everything I throw at them. An all-rounder blog seems like a great idea for some people, but it doesn’t seem to work for me.

If anyone out there wants to share her or his thoughts with me related to this topic, i would appreciate it.

Posted in Blogging

The sandman

I’m not actually talking about the metal song from Metallica here. This is about this dude right here:

(https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandman)
He’s the guy that puts the sand in people’s eyes and gives them good dreams. It’s a european myth.

In Germany there is actually a TV series for kids out there on the ndr channel. There he is called das Sandm√§nnchen. I watched that a lot back when I was a kid. It’s still on TV these days. Might have changed its channel to KiKa. Here’s a image of a puppet of the sandman, used in the production of the series. It’s a stop motion show with puppets btw, that’s why he’s one too:

Posted in Blogging

Stress and the ways of life

So, here we are again. Its night over here where i live and im lying in bed, writing something on my mini computer thingy. I believe its called a surflet. Dont bet on that though, im not sure.

And im wondering again, how is it going these days? Quite so i have to admit, not all so well. Not from a general standpoint though. I got everything i ever wanted. But on second thought, i got a few problems right now that are kinda new to me.

For example, im stressed because of work. Thats new. And the old counter part to that is that im not stressed because i work too much. Im stressed because i cant really do that what i do best – develop software. Im somewhere on a political battleground these days when im at work – i actually should do something, but no one tells me what. If i start to do something on my own people critize me for doing that. So i just wait. And i actually am not allowed to do that. Its a situation where you just can not win.

I feel rather stressed out because of it. And while im kinda nervous because of that all sorts of things stress me out even more. I dont want to be like that, but i cant change it these days.

And it seems like the emptiness and uselessness that i feel inside of myself grows. Although, is it really like that?

This all sounds really negative, but is it really? There is one realization i propably still need to have for real. I kinda know, i mean, i write about it right now, right? But i didnt realize it fully already. This will need a bit more time.

Things are only stressful if you let them be that way. Work will only stress me out if i let it get to me. My feelings will only be negative and pessimistic if i dont stop that from happening.

This may not be totally right, but it seems to me sometimes like life itself wants us to fail. Like its testing our abilities to stop that from happening. If we dont do just that our lifes and we as humans in general will end up in desaster. Its up to us to pave our way like it is supposed to be.