Im tired. Im making my way through the days right now without a real goal. Im just doing things so that i did something. Well. Theres that. But still, had some interesting things happening to me recently.
Or atleast i guess they were interesting. A little example? Okay.
You see, i had a girlfriend back in summer. Im pretty sure i did a post about that back then. I thought i felt all fluffy inside and i really wanted to believe that i found someone that wants to share her time with me. Well the whole thing went downhill after 2 months. No worries though, it was a good thing. We basically never knew each other and tried to project some sort of properties on each other that we wanted the other person to have. But after the first month was done we both realized that this wasnt working for us. A total normal thing i guess. In the end she was a person that wanted to do a lot of things with other people and hated lonelyness and deep thoughts. As you guys might have noticed already if you read this blog for a while longer, im quite fond of being alone. I dont need a bunch of people around me at every point in time. Im actually that kind of person that likes to just sit around and imagine stuff or think about things for hours (It actually got “worse” with that afterwards – i had some sort of mental breakdown and things changed for me then. But thats a different story that i already told on one of my blogs). Point is, we were so different from each other that she couldnt accept it. And well, we broke up. For the last few months she and also me believed that we could still be normal friends (or something like that). Tbh, i never was fond of that but i actually thought i should try that this time. I stopped doing so yesterday. She asked me for some help with her IT problems. She rearely wrote me anyways. It was like she remembered my existence because no one else was capable to help her. And you know, for once in my life i said no. No, i didnt want to help her.
Screw her. Im not a IT support service that can be called after a few months if you need him. If you actually want my help at some point, try to let me know that you actually care without being in need of my skills.
But well, thats not exactly the reason why i actually did the things that followed after that. I wrote her after that that she should delete my number and that she should never write me again. Why did i do that? You know, she asked that aswell in a very unpolite way. I responded that i never knew her and she never knew me. Theres no reason to talk with strangers you dont want to have anything to do with.
As you can imagine, she didnt like that. Not one bit. She actually attacked me personally because of that. Called me a loner and that i should get back to being alone. She also wrote that she had enough of that and she isnt even wondering anymore.
Tbh, im not sure that i know what she was talking about. We wrote like 10 words in the last 8 months. Surely i was a dick there, but i dont know what she meant with she had enough of it and she wasnt even wondering about that anymore. Enough of what? Do i have to understand that? I mean like, not that i really care, but it seemed so out of place in this situation.
Well, anyways, i just wanted to get rid of that. I like the feeling of when i get rid of something that lies way back in my past. It wasnt the best way i guess, but it worked. I never had bad intentions there. Just stating the truth in a very direct way. In the end, another chapter in my life is finally closed.
Thats a good thing after all.