Sorry guys for not posting today. I had a lot to do at work and I’m also walking some really dark paths in my mind. It’s hard for me to write anything worthwhile at the moment because of that.

Ill hopefully figure this out soon though.


Car repair madness

I just got to put it out there. I’m sitting at my car dealer. He’s also repairing cars.

A stone cracked my front window a while ago. I wanted to let it be repaired before things get serious. I thought to myself ‘hey, this propably won’t cost that much since it’s just a small crack. Propably like 40 euros or something. No problems.’. I asked before the repair just now how much it will cost.

100€. This shit will cost 100 fucking euros. This is crazy in my opinion. They won’t have to change the window itself or something.

I could have paid nothing with better insurance. This would have costed me like 500€ though to get the insurance. Which is seriously too much for car insurance in my opinion, but that’s just me I guess. I got a really small car, so why is it that much?

I’m seriously pissed about this whole car business. Shit is just expensive as fuck. Maybe I should like get a good bicycle instead and move with trains and buses.

Oh wait, I’m living in ducking nowhere. Buses don’t drive regularly here and trains don’t do shit for me since I still would need to get to the train station.

Seriously, I’m mad.

Posted in Blogging

Back once again!

Hey guys,

I hope you are all doing well 🙂

I had a few wonderful days with my girlfriend in Erfurt. It was a fantastic and important time. I did … things before that, you know. Because of that this week with her was so important to figure things out. And I believe we did. In a positive way 🙂

And now I’m back again to post stories and stuff. I’ll probably start with a story soon that I clarify as horror in the tags – I’m pretty sure though that this is more comedy then horror. I still got to write a few more posts for that though. It’s a experiment and stuff.

I also want to try some other stuff that saw on the internet. Got to always try new stuff, right?

I’m also feeling a bit more motivated about life right now. Things seem to be so much clearer. There are reasons for that, obviously, but I still need a bit of time to figure myself out. I may or may not write about that in the future. We will see.

Have a nice day out there!

Posted in Blogging

Possible changes of future plans

Hi guys, how are you doing?

Another great blog post from yours truly, the only me, the wheelin’, dealin’, son of a gun… basically, its me.

As you might have noticed in the past few weeks, i wrote a lot of flash fictions. Many many small ones, barely 300-400 words long. I like to do it that way because its easy to handle and its relaxing to write small stories like that. I wanted to focus on that for a while and i did so in the last few months. I also made several smaller experiments with multi-parts fictions. I believe i also called them flash fictions. I didnt know if they would work out, but the biggest of them, frogs in space, was kinda okay i guess. I would call that experiment successful.

Now, i also started a long-term story called Rockready. Its still going. After all im only at part 6. I believe havent posted part 7 yet, but expect that one in the next few days.

And now its time to change some plans for the future. You see, as much as i like to write an infinite number of small flash fictions, i feel like the daily change of focus is draining me. I still got lots of ideas, dont get me wrong. But i feel like the quality is lacking because i post too many of them too often. Because of that i want to change things up.

Recently i only made small 1-day breaks between my posts. Im going to change that a bit. I will try to post in a 2-day cycle. I expect to have more time to polish my stories through that. Posting daily is something that i really would like to do, but i just cant do that with my work all day long and my private life also being a thing i dont want to miss. A good post every 2 days seems like a nice compromise there.

Because of that i also will get a better chance to write longer stories. I like those a lot from a personal standpoint. They let me focus on a specific story for longer, which is more fun to do sometimes. I still will post flash fictions, but i dont know how often. Sometimes i may even write a normal blog post like this too. Im a human with problems, so i should share them with you guys. It may or may not help you. Im a pessimist by heart that aspires to be an optimist, so theres something to go on about. Always.

And it goes without saying, i will continue my Rockready story. Theres a lot to come there too. One of the only stories i actually got notes for. Weird, huh?

Another thing that i need to get out there. Thanks for your likes and views guys! It really motivates me to know that you guys actually want to read that what i put out there 🙂

One last thing – im going on vacation next week. I may or may not post stuff then, but dont expect anything from the ~12.2. to the 18.2.. Ill be visiting my girlfriend again and just like in the past i really want to take those few days and get my mind of things.

And thus, with those last words…

Have a good time out there!

Posted in Blogging

Flash fiction: Trance

The small village lied silently in the middle of the night. Not a single voice, not a single step was to be heard. Resembling a graveyard, the village seemed to be out of this world. Suddenly the voice of a young woman was to be heard throughout of it. She started to sing a song – a song in a language unknown to many. The rythm, even more unfamiliar, was capturing and outlandish at the same time. Her voice was clear and the words echoed throughout the village.

In the middle of the village a large fire was lit by several men that stood around it. They started to mumble something during the singing of the woman. After a few second they started to dance around the fire. Most of them didnt wear any clothes except for some light pants, even though there was snow all around them. But none of them seemed to notice the cold. They were focused – not on the fire, not on the singing, but on something else. Something that was not to be seen by the eye alone.

During their dance the woman continued to sing. A soothing atmosphere was capturing everyone as the scene continued just like that. The men danced and the woman sang. Here words were about the mountains, the sun, mystical creatures that exist around them and about a man. A man that once was liked by a woman, but ultimately wasnt what she hoped for. A song that expressed life’s desires, but also its disappointments. As sad as the song may seemed, the men werent bothered by that. They didnt wonder about the text. They didnt ask who that man was.

They just continued to dance as the woman sang.

Pet problems

Hey, another normal blog post. I still hesitate to write those, but it’s time again to get something out of the system. I don’t clarify posts like that as normal – thus they are only asides.

As the title of this one already will tell you, my pets are making me problems. I got 2 bunnies and 3 guinea pigs right now. Unfortunately one pig is sick. Right now I’m lying in bed, hoping that it will survive the night. I got a doctor’s appointment tomorrow for it. Hopefully they won’t have to put it down then.

Small animals like this are usually hard to actually nurse. They don’t show it when they are ill and if you notice there’s a good chance it’s too late. I had that 2 times before already. Both times the animal died. Both times I did everything I could, but it wasn’t enough. I fear that I’m too late with this one aswell.

You should know, if something like this happens it hurts me really bad. I consider those small guys my friends. They are more then just pets to me. But since the last 2 times I know – I can only help them so much and they are relatively fragile too. I’ll always try to help them with all my might, but I wonder if that is enough.

At this point though I have to also look out for myself. Ill pets destroy me from the inside aswell. I worry all the time. I feel responsible for it, even though I surely did not want them to be ill.

Hopefully everything will turn out to be okay. It’ll be even harder for me if it’s not – I got a work meeting right after. I won’t be able to to the vet myself with my pig, so I will get a phone call right before my meeting. That could become the worst day of my life until now then if all the bad things fall together.

But let’s see what will really happen. Wish my pig luck and better health!

A little rant about work

I know i dont do that all that much anymore, but this is something i really need to get of my chest. Its not a story, its something about my life that just really made me angry today.

I get that a lot with that topic though. Its about work. I often complain about it to my girlfriend and others because of small stuff – you know, i hate what a co-worker did or how we solved a problem or something like that. Happens all the time and propably to many of you guys out there. I deem that normal. Additionally to that im a person that likes to complain about things so that i can feel better. Getting stuff out of my system so to speak. But this time…

Well, today was different. I had a day full of meetings. Nothing but that. Im a software developer in my normal job and today was like all the meetings from all the projects. Retrospective where we discussed what we did good and bad. Some other stuff that didnt really bother me. But the good and bad stuff really hit me hard.

I usually dont bother taking stuff like that all that seriously. But that normally is because i do a solid job. I rarely get complains about what i do – im a serious worker and i do what i need to do so that my boss is happy. He isnt unhappy now, dont get me wrong. He doesnt care about meetings like that and propably doesnt even know. But a few guys from our customer company were there too and as we were talking about the bad things in our last time period of development there were just so many shitty things i did wrong were i actually thought – and i still think btw – that i did the right thing. I did just that what they asked me to do. Today i get the complaint that i shouldnt just do what they are telling me – i should think about it and ask myself what the customers could also want or how i could apply that what they want to other things. I need to think ahead about other stuff like i actually am the customer myself. This isnt all that unusual i believe in projects if you want to please your customers. It is weird for me here though. Im a developer, i develop things. I get requirements, i fullfill them. Im not sure if i always need to ask myself that if i implement A i also need to know if that applies to B aswell. I dont get why the customer cant just write it all down what they want. Why isnt that possible? Why do I need to predict what they actually mean when they write something? Why isnt our project manager doing that instead? I mean, he would need to actually read the requirements for that, i get it – he usually doesnt do that. Takes too much time i wager. Lets just leave it all to the dev, hopefully he will figure it out. And if it doesnt work, hey, blame it on him. No problem.

Now, they didnt really blame me in person. People never do. But i got the hint. Im not that dumb. They meant me. There was also something along the lines of “when we started with that project we didnt have that problem, but since that and that point you guys dont do that anymore”. And with that and that point they mean the point my senior dev isnt working in the project anymore. Hes the sort of person that sees himself as part of the customer team. He isnt just there to fullfill the wishes of the customer, he wants to think ahead – you know, so that he can implement things that the customer may or may not need at some point. Sure, i cant compete with that. But because he overdid it with his ‘i want it to be as comfortable as possible for them without them actually telling us that they need any of that’ stuff i, a more pragmatic person, suck in comparison.

As you might can tell from my wall of text, i dont feel like im in the wrong here. I feel like i did the right thing – i solved the problems that they wanted to be solved. Trying to find out what they could also have meant with that is tedious. My opinion is that the customer should specify clearly what they mean instead of me asking myself. I can try that, sure, but I dont deem that effective. Yet again, seems like i will need to do so, huh?

It just irks me that i did so wrong while i was thinking that i did the right thing and Im not sure how to do better. Ill try, sure. But im not sure if i can fullfill thoser requirements. And im angry because those people just criticize without putting themselves in my shoes.

Oh well. Be right back, screaming in my cellar.

Posted in Blogging

Stories from the food table

“You know, im so frustrated from work. I just want to get in there and fuck them all up. Every single one of them. And you know why? You want to know why?

Its because they act like fools. Just irresponsible. I mean, im not the person who needs to tell those people how to act, right? Thats not my job. Im getting paid to teach them something alright, but im not there there to nurture them. They are not my children. Well in some sort of sense they are, but not really biologically.

And that other guy that im working with, dude, hes such an idiot. He just doesnt know how to do his job and in the end i got to do it for him. I swear man, i will kill him at some point. And know es also wishing me well via WhatsApp? How does he dare to do that? I just hate that guy. I hope that he dies and that i can change class as soon as possible.”

– A teacher

Im back in business

Hi guys! Im back from my vacation time over Christmas and the new year. Best wishes again to all of you. I got a few new ideas over the last few days and im ready to kick it of tomorrow with a blog post that continues my Rockready – story. Im going to expand on that story in the future, propably next weekend. Expect some post related to that soon! 

Alright, lets get this year going! Have fun out there guys!