The Autobahn

The Autobahn is the german highway. I imagine the name is kinda known in some places around the world since it sounds funny is kind of connected to the Nazis. They built quite a few of those back in the day. Or rather, they forced others to do that, but lets not go there. History is important, but this would get awfully serious and sad since german history is a prime example of what humanity does when it turns evil.

Lets focus on the Autobahn instead. I drove like 12 hours on it during the last 2 weeks. Amazingly boring. Im not even kidding. This is also related to me not being a fan of driving cars in general.

I really just dont like it. Driving cars is a tool for me. I do it because i have to to get to other places. I dont do it for fun and if i wouldnt be living somewhere rural i wouldnt drive around and propably wouldnt even own a car. Thats the kind of person i am. Opinions may differ on that, surely.

But also because of that i am horribly bored to drive long distances, especially on the Autobahn. My brain just doesnt know what to do during the drive itself. Theres like a monkey up in there that stares out of my brain holes and tries to make shit interesting, but just cant. Because of that hes going crazy and starts destroying things.

Im also way more exhausted from that because of all this. Next time i go somewhere i will totally take the train. Atleast i dont have to focus to get there safely then.

Advertisements

Get a breather from time to time

You really should do that. It’s helpful. Now, this sounds like it would be something so obvious that everyone should know it by default, but truthfully, it isn’t. Sometimes we tend to overexert ourselves. Maybe it is because we do things that we want to be done. Maybe it is something for someone that we like and love. There are all kinds of motivations out there. But even if we have reasons like that, if you go over your limits way too much you will feel it afterwards. 

For example I helped my girlfriend move, right? I did it because I love her, obviously. I want to help her as much as possible. Though while doing so I went over my threshold of what I can actually really do. I felt this that one night too. A lot. I drove around for hours, moved a lot of stuff in her apartment and built her couch. I was so done after that. So was my girlfriend. It was really important that we took it easy the days following that one. Otherwise we probably would have gotten ill or something like that.

But it’s a conflicting thing for me you know. On one side I like to exert myself a bit, on the other side I don’t want to overdo it. The line isn’t so clear – when is it too much and at what point should I make a break?

Posted in Blogging

Decisions

Just yesterday i questioned myself what i actually should do with this blog. I posted about this too. What am I to do with this platform that i created for myself to express my thoughts?

I thought quite a bit about this in the last 2 days. In the beginning i was really negative about it. I thought that i should stop blogging in general. It seemed futile to me – it didnt seem to me like i was getting anywhere with that what i was doing. But what was i really doing in the last few weeks?

And this is the moment where i need to be honest. I flaundered. I started this blog, as i posted 2 days ago too, to express my thoughts and ideas in some sort of written form. I didnt start with the intention that others out there should actually like what i do here. I just wanted to get all that stuff out there so that i dont have to keep it to myself anymore. Deep inside of me i hoped that some of you guys might like my posts and stories, but i didnt want to admit that to myself. So i just started doing my thing. in the beginning i didnt even post regularly, i did it how i felt i should do it.

But after a while things turned out to what i actually thought about the whole blogging thing. I want you guys out there to read my posts. I dont do it just for myself, although this is one of the reasons too.

In general there are 2 main reasons for me to post on this blog:

1. That what i meantioned above. I do it for myself. Its like a therapy to me – i think a lot in my daily life and i need to get all that stuff out of me. I cant tell all of that to other people because every person gets annoyed at some point if you mention something often enough. But a blog doesnt get annoyed. Thats a plus. The only thing that will happen here is that people online wont give it a like. But that shouldnt matter all the time – sure, sometimes it does, but even if you guys dont like it i still want to be proud of what i wrote. Which brings me to the other reason.

2. I do it so that others enjoy it. I have to admit that to myself. I want you guys to like what i do. I want to create content that people read and dont get bored with. Thats the point of stories in general i believe and it shouldalso be the goal of normal blog posts – like, i posted about the weather a few times. Does that really matter to anyone? I highly believe not. It does not matter to me either. So why do i even post something like that?

Simple reason – i just wanted to post something. This is a problem that i noticed a while ago that i want to deal with several changes to my blog that i will write about in a second. I wrote that i posted daily so i always wanted to post daily. But i also want to create good content that is longer then just 20 words. This wont work out in the long term.

And so, lets talk about changes. First of all, you might have noticed it already, i changed the blog theme. You might not like it, but i believe it gives the blog a unique touch. Im really just scrapping along too, so a theme with the name “scrapbook” is really not all that wrong. I also want to focus on my texts, so i want to present you a site that provides you with a good environment to be able to do so.

I also will change my blog post schedule. You will not notice all that much of it most of the time. But let me explain that a bit.

I used to blog every day in the last few weeks and months. I wont do that anymore. Atleast i wont guarantee that anymore. My guaranteed blog posts will go online every 2 days from now on. I might post one or more posts between those, but if i dont want to i wont. Simple stuff. This hopefully will give me some more time to create actually really good posts and not just something like ‘Its raining over here. Amazing stuff’.

I also want to focus again on more stories and maybe even drawings. You might have noticed this aswell, the drawing that represents the logo that i have on this blog right now is made by me. I may not the best artist out there, but atleast its made by me, right?

That image and the one from this post also shows what kind of general theme i want to go for on this blog – its not content related, but i really like bears. My girlfriend mentioned before that i kinda look like a bear too. So i will keep it all bear-like on this blog.


Alright, now that i wrote all sorts of things about how my blog is changing right now and in the next few days, theres some more stuff regarding my stories.

A few weeks ago i started creating flash fiction stories. I still really like that and i want to continue writing those. I also had a longer story going on that i posted about from time to time. I wont continue that one. I feel like i wrote myself into a corner with that one. Even though i still want to express something similar to that story that i wrote about in those posts in the past i dont want to do it the way i did it until now. The start from it was good in my opinion – trying to tell a story with a character that explains stuff by creating a history of past events. I noticed that that i moved too much into the past. I couldnt get out of that to the present of the story without creating something weird. So i will sack it to start a new longer story. Ill explain the world and the history there like a documentation too – it wont be something that a person explains fromhis own perspective though – more like a history lesson in school or so. Im not really sure yet. I will post the remaining posts that i have about that though. There are like 2 and a half posts left.


So, i will get my next story post of my old, now discontinued, story out there on sunday. Have fun out there until then!

Posted in Blogging

Thoughts about blogging

I started blogging for real a few months ago. I believe it was in may when I decided to go all in with this whole thing. I kinda believe that this right now is a good time to sum up how far I have gotten.

Before I write anything else, I never advertised my blog anywhere actively. I thought about it, but I believe that if the people out there deem my content good enough I will succeed. 

I have to admit though, It seems like my stuff isn’t really all that interesting, especially recently. I knew right from the start that I will never have much of an audience to begin with since I’m not trying to cater to any trends or wishes. I just wanted to do my thing. That’s how it started. But quickly this turned into something else where I was only happy if people showed interest in my posts. This doesn’t work though with the kind of stuff that I do here and with the way I do it. 

To sum it up, I believe I failed. I gained new followers and some good people out there are reading my stuff sometimes, but I’m posting daily – how good can my stuff ever be like that and would it be better if I would take more time to create it?

I don’t know an answer to that. I will consider changing all sorts of things here on my blog now. Maybe it’s even time to consider drastic changes like focusing on certain kinds of blogging. Only stories or something like that. Or maybe I should quit. All the possibilities are on the table for me right now. 

One thing I know though – I can’t just post what I want and expect people to like everything I throw at them. An all-rounder blog seems like a great idea for some people, but it doesn’t seem to work for me.

If anyone out there wants to share her or his thoughts with me related to this topic, i would appreciate it.

Posted in Blogging

The sandman

I’m not actually talking about the metal song from Metallica here. This is about this dude right here:

(https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandman)
He’s the guy that puts the sand in people’s eyes and gives them good dreams. It’s a european myth.

In Germany there is actually a TV series for kids out there on the ndr channel. There he is called das Sandmännchen. I watched that a lot back when I was a kid. It’s still on TV these days. Might have changed its channel to KiKa. Here’s a image of a puppet of the sandman, used in the production of the series. It’s a stop motion show with puppets btw, that’s why he’s one too:

Posted in Blogging

Stress and the ways of life

So, here we are again. Its night over here where i live and im lying in bed, writing something on my mini computer thingy. I believe its called a surflet. Dont bet on that though, im not sure.

And im wondering again, how is it going these days? Quite so i have to admit, not all so well. Not from a general standpoint though. I got everything i ever wanted. But on second thought, i got a few problems right now that are kinda new to me.

For example, im stressed because of work. Thats new. And the old counter part to that is that im not stressed because i work too much. Im stressed because i cant really do that what i do best – develop software. Im somewhere on a political battleground these days when im at work – i actually should do something, but no one tells me what. If i start to do something on my own people critize me for doing that. So i just wait. And i actually am not allowed to do that. Its a situation where you just can not win.

I feel rather stressed out because of it. And while im kinda nervous because of that all sorts of things stress me out even more. I dont want to be like that, but i cant change it these days.

And it seems like the emptiness and uselessness that i feel inside of myself grows. Although, is it really like that?

This all sounds really negative, but is it really? There is one realization i propably still need to have for real. I kinda know, i mean, i write about it right now, right? But i didnt realize it fully already. This will need a bit more time.

Things are only stressful if you let them be that way. Work will only stress me out if i let it get to me. My feelings will only be negative and pessimistic if i dont stop that from happening.

This may not be totally right, but it seems to me sometimes like life itself wants us to fail. Like its testing our abilities to stop that from happening. If we dont do just that our lifes and we as humans in general will end up in desaster. Its up to us to pave our way like it is supposed to be.

Posted in Blogging

People with ideals

Ideals are the things that often motivate us to do things. They are the reason why we do a lot of the things that we are doing in our daily lifes and how we react to others and their actions. Everyone got atleast a few of them. But some people out there cherish them a lot more then others. Those are the people that are called idealistic. A definition about them on the internet is something like this:

“a person who cherishes or pursues high or noble principles, purposes, goals, etc. aperson who represents things as they might or should be rather than as they are: My friend is an idealist, who somehow thinks that we always agree. a writer or artist who treats subjects imaginatively.”

(http://www.dictionary.com/browse/idealist)

So idealistic people, or short idealists, are people that are pursuing certain principles, goals or are in a specific mindset. Being a vegan for example requires the compliance of certain principles, like not eating meat or not drinking milk from animals. Another example would be a person that always expects certain traits in all people that he or she is meeting out there. That person would be an idealist too – he/she would have the ideal that all people got that specific trait.

You might say now that this is a good thing. I tend to agree a lot of times. Ideals can drive people to do great things. To achieve specfic goals. The ideals of certain researchers of human history to go into detail and be accurate with their measurements led us to what we are these days. But ideals are a two-edged sword.

As many positive things that can stem from them, there are also a lot of negatives. Idealistic people can be narrow minded – they tend to lose sight of many other things while they follow their principles. I personally know someone like that, so let me tell you about this person right now to explain to you what i mean.

The person that i mean is usually a rather nice guy. Hes polite, hes not cursing and he got a family with 2 kids at home. All in all he seems like an average man. But when it comes to his work and being accurate at work and actually creating a complete concept before doing things hes one of the most idealistic people i have ever met. Its like he is switching from normal mode to a idealistic mode where he gets a lot more unfriendly. He tends to get loud too. He also wont allow any other opinion regarding the subject at hand as long as it isnt remotely close to his own opinion. Hes also not compromising when he is like that. He is strictly following his own principles. Even when customers tell him that they want to do it differently, he cant. Our customers tend to not fully analyze everything before they come to us to develop something. He will bring it up at every chance that he gets so that the customer is forced to analyze and to create a concept. It annoys the customers, it annoys us co-workers, but he does not care. He believes that his principles are correct. Mind you, im not saying that he is neccessarly wrong with that. His principles are good. He wants to know every detail so that there wont be any errors. He doesnt want to give the customer any opportunity to blame us for anything later on. He wants to create products that are complete – complete is a rather subject term though. He wants to force the customers to ask themselves questions about what a product actually should be able to do.

Those are all great principles and goals. But in many cases, not all of them can be done. Atleast not by annoying people and trying to force them into doing things. Thats where ideals can lead people away from a normal path. A good product or certain goals to keep it more in a general sense here can still be achieved, even without any forceful behaviour. It may take a while, sure, but it can be done.

I personally am a big fan of staying calm and just explaining the situation openly and truthfully to others, e.g. customers. Let them know about your concerns. Tell them what will happen if they dont do it in a calm manner. Once. Tell them also that it is their choice. This is also a thing in normal life, not only at work – staying calm and talking and explaining things normally to people helps in all kinds of situations.

Because in the end, we usually want to relax and dont have any stressful and annoying fights with others if it isnt really neccessary, right?

Posted in Blogging

Strange sundays

I’m so indecisive today. I could roll around all day just thinking about what I should do in general. Making decisions is just hard sometimes. And sometimes it’s also frustrating. I didn’t decide about doing sports today and ate sweet stuff instead. Woohoo. 

Let’s get fat or something instead of making great life choices.