Work can be hard sometimes. I propably already wrote that at some point in the past. I recently fell into some sort of slumber with it. I feel unmotivated and that what im doing these days just doesnt seem as fun as it would normally be. Why is that?
Well, propably for several reasons. Firstly i had a business talk with my boss like a few weeks ago. We talked about my position in the company and all of that and i told him that i want take on more responsability. He agreed with that and said that he wants to changes things right there so that i can do a lot more in that regard. Unfortunately really nothing did change since then. I dont expect that everything changes till now, that isnt possible and i know that. I just expected a bit more. Signals that he is working on it. But there is no sign that any of that what we actually talked about is about to change, not even slowly. That kinda lowers my motivation quite a bit. Previously i was kinda excited that i could maybe better my position in the company from being the semi-junior developer to something more serious and responsible. But like i wrote, this isnt happening.
Additionally to that the current project im working on is really frustrating. Every decision maker that is involved in the project believes that it is going really well. But as someone that is working from a technical developer pov in that project i got to say, its not going well. The current progress is shit. Theres a lot of politics involved since our customer is a rather large company. Large companies tend to have a lot of politics going on. People from that company dont want to change and they dont want to be responsible for changes that could be made. If you are responsible for them and they fail or dont have the effect they should have had you will get serious problems. Or atleast thats how it seems for me as someone whos looking at it from the outside. But even though responsability in that case could mean trouble, isnt it kinda frustrating to not do anything or to work without any ambitions? Everyone got goals, right? If you can actually choose what you want to do as work – and i believe in europe most people can just do that – why would you do something that isnt fun, challenging and you get shit on with every step you take? I just dont get it.
Anyways, thats why im severly unmotivated to go to work these days. Hopefully it will get better soon enough. I really like my work quite a bit if things like that dont get in my way. I want to work and i actually want to do something to earn my money.
So maybe i will be able to do just that as soon as possible 🙂