Well hello there!
It took me a few days to get a new blog post going, but here it is!
And its about a touchy topic as well.
Have you ever had the situation where you had like 0 friends in your life? Im not talking about an evening where you are alone and you think everyone abandoned you. Im talking about a ongoing process where you literally had no one to talk to or do things with.
As much as i know many people experience that. When it is like that you’re feeling helpless. You dont have any friends, how would you change that? There are several advices for that kind of stuff. My point here is NOT to tell you how to solve that problem. My take on this is that something like that can NOT be solved with the most of the stuff people tell you to do to get more friends.
So, lets get this thing going.
First of all, let me provide you with a link form reddit, specifically to that topic:
You dont have to read it completely. The conclusion of it is that you got to act like a friend towards others to get friends. Well, that does sound pretty logical, doesnt it? Funny thing is, its not that easy (atleast for me and propably thousands of other guys and girls out there). I read the whole thing. The guy there realized that he needs to do stuff in order to make other people recognize him as a nice guy. Im personally in a situation where i got abondened by pretty much everyone out there due to constantly moving from one place to another while not having the ability to make friends easily. So, who exactly should i be friendly with? I mean, sure i work. There are other people there. But well, do they want to be friendly with me? Frankly, im not sure about that. They are there to actually work. They dont wanna converse all the time. And well, im not getting money for that either. So that propably isnt the right place to do that. So, i could go to clubs and several other places in my free time. Do i want that? Well, why not? Since im not much of a sportive guy i propably shouldnt do something like football or soccer. Im more into the whole computer-internet stuff. So, where do i find clubs for that? In the internet (the place with the highest propability to find that). And well, there we go again. Im actually in the internet right now to write this blog post – so, im propably doing the right thing, huh? Well, different people got different takes on that. But im going to write about that later on in this post.
Lets continue with getting real life friends. How to do that? I already wrote about getting them by meeting people in clubs and at work. You could get friends there, but work is propably the wrong place to do so because you are there to earn money and clubs…well, that only works if you like those kind of things. Whats left? Randomly talk to people on the street? Nope. Trying to talk to people i once knew? Surprisingly i already tried that a couple of times. Those guys just told me that they already got friends and they dont need another one (one of them actually said that. I didnt even mention being friends to him though). With those guys i also actually tried to be friendly. I invited them to do something. Its the thing the guy in the reddit link is talking about. It didnt work. You might say right here “you have to try it more then once”. I did that. Not working.
And well, sometimes there are also people that are actually doing things with their friends that are..well.. too expensive for me. There was like one guy that actually invited me to play with him and his other friends on that new nintendo console. I really REALLY would have liked to do that. Sad thing is, i cant afford that console.
So, whats left then? Cuddle up in a hole and cry? Dear people of the internet, you shall not be afraid. You are not alone! Honestly, you are not. While reading this (you did it this far – im proud of you) you are actually interacting with me in some kind of form. You might say stuff like “lol, 0/10, what a fag” or other things like “i know how that feels bro”. Doesnt matter what your opinion on that is – there is a correlation there. You may will post in the comment section or write in some forum about that topic. Isnt that some kind of interpersonal communication too? Yes it is. And well, if you are into games its getting even better. Do NOT believe people who are telling you that these guys that you are knowing from the internet are not your real friends, play buddies, whatever you wanna call them. They are just as real as those people walking on the street. Why would that be not like that? I mean, you are doing things together. Sure, you are sitting on a computer while doing so, but does that really matter? No, it doesnt.
That brings me back to the question i asked myself earlier on.
“Im actually in the internet right now to write this blog post – so, im propably doing the right thing, huh?”
There is a answer for that. Am i doing the right thing to get some friends? Well, yes. Im interacting with people. Thats important. And to be honest, that guy from the reddit link wasnt all that wrong. That stuff isnt only working in real life- its the same thing in the web. Be nice to people and they’ll be nice to you. Sure, there are dicks and trolls and whatever. But to be perfectly honest, guys like that also exist in real life. Its just that you can recognize them easier around here.
You could say at that point that i couldnt do real life things with my internet friends because i only know them from there. You are wrong. I already met several of those fine people that i knew from games. Most of them are already beyond the point of caring about people saying that they’re wasting their lifes. Its really impressive. They just do things and have fun while doing so. And well, you might think that you cant have a love life while living like that, huh? Sure, theres online dating. Yep, thats not always working. Just because its online doesnt mean its getting that much easier. I really doubt that you would get the girl for your life from just speaking to just one woman at a bar – why would it be that easy on the internet? Im speaking from experience here. Im not the kind of guy that changes his girlfriend quickly. Im also a nerdy cunt. Good news is, despite that i already had 2 girlfriends in my life (and i got both from the internet). I dont know why and everything, but i did. How? “Talk” to people. Just write them. Thats actually easier than in real life. You cant lose anything, right? Just write them. And dont lose hope if one of those girls out there isnt answering. Hell, i might sound like a bad person saying that, but you could use a template text for that too. The important thing is that you act. People dont act themselves, they want you to do things. Thats not always as easy as it sounds, i know. I also got problems with acting instead of reacting from time to time. But its the way to go. People are lazy cunts.
Anyways, dear people of the internet, dont let others fool you. You are not a loner just because you dont wanna go to sports or you’re playing games all day. But well, just to be clear: That doesnt mean you shouldnt try to do real life stuff if you got the opportunity. It just means that you shouldnt try too hard. You’re already surrounded by people anyways, you dont have to worry about being alone. You just dont realize that these people are there.
And if you still worry about it, why dont you start right now? Feel free to write me, ill answer. That would be one person you’d already be communicating with. (: