Tonight i had a weird dream…

hi guys.

I just had some sort of…weird experience. And well, without further explanations, let me tell you about it:

Just a few seconds ago i was lying in my bed, sleeping soundly. And i had the weirdest dream ever. I mean, the story itself isnt weird, but it just gets me how i can think of such a multi-layered story without cosciousnessly making it up

It was about a young man with black hair and a goaty. He suddenly woke up in a bed, being totally scared of everything while saying “he’s still alive”. I wasnt seeing it from his perspective, i just was there as an observer. He was wearing a weird robe, just like monks wear it. He suddenly stood up, running to the door. The door was right next to the bed; it seemed to be a rather small house. As he was running outside he was in our “timeline”. Atleast, thats what i thought at this point because well, i dont know why, but i could somehow make a judgement while i “watched” that stuff. So, he ran outside, always saying “he was still alive”. After that he met a random person that i dont know that tried to calm him down. While he was trying to do so they suddenly decided to travel somewhere. To be honest, i dont know why and i dont know where to. They travelled through various places; but the whole time they where following some sort of river. Just like i said, it was like he was in our timeline. I dont know how they travelled. The important part at this point seemed to be that they listened to a radio all the time where someone always repeated something about a location of an additional person.What seemed important too is that the goaty guy had at some point blond hair. His goaty was still black.

At some point they ended up at a rather large lake. It wasnt like i just suddenly saw the scene of them being at the lake; it was like i saw a television programm of the lake with some sort of narrator before i saw those 2. The lake had huge mountains surrounding it. Some of them had snow on top of them. The point where the 2 people arrived was something like a viewing platform where a lot of people, most of them in their bathing suits, watched the lake. When these 2 stood close to the edge of the viewing platform something appeared out of the lake. It seemed to be like some sort of kraken; but it wasnt like that. There where a lot of tentacles, going together to one point in the air where some sort of dude in a black armor was. After that one appeared the other 2 got totally serious.The goaty guy suddenly lost his black goaty (yeah, he lost it. It was kind flying away while he was stroking his beard). He was all blond now.

So the other dude of those 2 jumped the kraken thing. I dont know why he did it, but he did. The black armor guy on top of the tentacles somehow pulled the jumpy person up close to him. After he did that he opened some sort of orange-red portal where the one who got pulled up got sucked into. The other one with the goaty was still standing on the viewing platform, screaming “no!” all the time. Before the dude at the portal got sucked in totally the scene got black and the thing that actually happened first happened again. You know, the goaty guy woke up in his bed again, screaming “hes still alive”. Important at this point seemd that he had blond hair and a goaty with the same color. It wasnt black anymore, unlike the last time he awakened. After that i woke up for a few seconds because, well, i dont know. After that i went to sleep again and i saw him waking up again with his blond hair. That happened a few times Always when i was starting to sleep again i started to dream the same thing again. But well, at some point after that i woke up for real.

Thats the story. It strikes me amazing how im capable of dreaming something multilayered (and it is like that; i mean like, he was scream “hes still alive” for the dude he met afterwards, right? It was like a never-ending loop) like that while im sleeping. I mean, its not the first time i was having a complex dream. But its the first time it was mulitlayered…or well, lets say it was the first time it looped. I mean, i dont think that i was knowing the ending before i dreamed it. That means something inside of me made that up while i was experiencing the dream. But i actually dont understand why and more important how my non-consciousness thoughts can make it the way that the dream seem to loop.

And well, i dont understand the dream at all too. I never lost someone where i could have thought “he’s still alive”. I never met a person who told me that he or she thought that.

Additionally, the whole thing seemed rather real to me (i was so aware, it was kinda stunning me afterwards). It was like i was watching someone else, judging if hes doing the right thing.I felt like i had some sort of cosciousness – i could think about the stuff there, i could make a judgement. For my dreaming self this is totally unusual. I cant remember a dream before that where i could do that. I had a lot of dreams where i was like “along for the ride”, but i never had the ability to judge or think about the stuff while the dream was happening.

That dream was just a weird thing in total. Somehow it creeped the fuck out of me.

Well i dont knooow… radio station camps are awkwaaard…

Hello there.

Today im gonna write about something…well, different.

No worries. Itll be nothing too hard to chew on.

Basically, its this:!.html

Aaand its a german link again. Well, the tldr-version: a radion station based in the area im living in will bring 10 people to a area without electricity and internet somewhere in the blackforest.They will propably learn how to deal with nature while doing so.

Idk, some of you guys might know the blackforest, right? Its a large forest region in south west germany.

So, they’ll let those guys run wild somewhere in there. Sounds fun huh?

Well, i dont know. Isnt that basically like the jungle camp? I mean, you’ll earn money if you win (5000€). And they propably will make them do awkward things too. Stuff like that is to be expected though; its for entertainment after all.

But still, that stuff seems like a weird way to gain publicity. You know, the people around here appear to be kinda serious. Germans in general are serious, i know that, but well, the people in the region here seem to be too serious to do stuff like that.

And well, i dont know guys. I just dont get it why people would do that. But i dont understand people anyways. Cant really explain it though; it just doesnt feel right.

New studies on NDE’s and OBE’s show…nothing new. At all. Move along.

hi guys.

Im sorry about that, but today i’ll write about another highly scientific thing.

Basically, its about this:

If you dont wanna read it yourself, let me provide you a tldr version:

a group of researchers did a large-scale experiment where they did test cardiac arrest patients for near-death experiences(NDE) and out of body experiences(OBE). They did it in several hospitals in europa and america.

Well and they actually wanted to test something else too. They wanted to know if people that are actually experiencing a OBE could read a imagine that they put on the ceiling of the room where they wanted to put the patients. They made it the way that those patients did not know about those images – they could only see them when they where actually out of their body.

Well, results?

At first sight they’re basically pretty bad for the cause of OBE’s being real: Not a single patient could see the image at the ceiling. Well, how could that be? Materialists and all kinds of Atheists will say at that point that OBE’s are illusions of the brain, the results are not surprising because well, illusions cant fly out of your body.

But what did i tell you guys in some of my blog posts? You know, the stuff that most of you are usually skipping because its boring as fuck?

Be sceptical.

And thats what you actually need to be here too.

If you actually read the result text (shortform of it, its not the whole paper of the study) it goes like this:

“Among 2060 CA events, 140 survivors completed stage 1 interviews, while 101 of 140 patients completed stage 2 interviews. 46% had memories with 7 major cognitive themes: fear; animals/plants; bright light; violence/persecution; deja-vu; family; recalling events post-CA and 9% had NDEs, while 2% described awareness with explicit recall of ‘seeing’ and ‘hearing’ actual events related to their resuscitation. One had a verifiable period of conscious awareness during which time cerebral function was not expected.”

So, firstly you might wanna know that a lot of those 2060 actually died. So surely they cant describe aything at all anymore.

The others are pretty much that what you get when you are researching NDE’s. People experience things when they have a NDE, that was already known. And most people are experiencing similar things.

Well, if you read the text, theres nothing about these image-thingies, right? Does that mean they didnt research that? Nope, they did.

Of all those NDE-people 2 actually had an OBE. Not that many, huh? But well, those kind of things normally dont happen too often anyways. Both of those 2 didnt see the image on the ceiling. Why you might ask? Well, as much as i read theres a simple answer for that without any phylosophical gibberish.

The rooms of those 2 people that had OBE’s didnt have a image on the ceiling. Funny fact huh? And well, as i read most of those people with a NDE didnt have a image like that on their ceiling either. Question here is: Why? Wasnt that the whole point, to research that stuff?

Idk for sure since i wasnt there, but that seems sloppy to me. And well, its rather comical that those 2 who actually had a OBE didnt have a image in their room.

What does that actually mean then?

Well, despite a lot of newspapers claiming that the study found evidence for an afterlife: Nope, it did not. But at the same time, the study isnt evidence for the opposite either. It just doesnt tell us anything at all. The whole NDE stuff isnt new at all. We already knew that people could experience those things from other studies. And right, there was one really weird case in that study where a person actually was consciousness during a time where it was clinically not possible. This seems to be rather important for a lot of dualistic thinking people. But well, i already read that some people claim that that could be explained by the brain being perceptive while it is practially not working at all. I also read that this one person could also only be scientific noise and that he is just simply the result of an study error. And i also read stuff that this could also proof that the consciousness exists for atleast a few minutes after death – but it could still vanish afterwards. Well, but that stuff is just talk – pretty much the same as what im doing right here, right now. And well, from my viewpoint it wouldnt make sense to continue to be conscious for a few minutes longer after death, just to let it die after that. But thats just my own sense of logic.

Anyways, the conclusion of the research team is pretty much the same:

“CA survivors commonly experience a broad range of cognitive themes, with 2% exhibiting full awareness. This supports other recent studies that have indicated consciousness may be present despite clinically undetectable consciousness. This together with fearful experiences may contribute to PTSD and other cognitive deficits post CA.”

Btw, there’s also that weidly spread opinion that these experiences of those people are subjective; thus, they cant be taken seriously. But well, thats pretty much the case for everything that humans experience, right? We cant abandon our humanity to look at things objectively.

Well anyways, do what you want with that info(if you dont believe it, google a bit. quite a lot of people wrote about that), but dont let anyone tell you that this study proofs anything. It doesnt. Its not telling us anything new about NDE’s. Sure, the one case where a specific person was conscious during a phase where he normally should have been is quite interesting, but that one case isnt enough to draw any conclusions.

Current World View and my opinion on it


(Cheers. Im not trying to start any discussions here, let me tell you that before you read anything else. Im not up for discussing proof or crap like that. Im mostly stating my own personal opinion. If you dont like that, well, screw you.)

How are you guys doing? Looking good eh? Well, im fine over here too.

I wrote yesterday about how i wanna talk about all those important things and, you know…

I wont do that today. I actually believe that i need to think a bit more about how ill write about that stuff. You know, if you wanna be a good blogger you actually need to know how you wanna write something before you do so. Alteast sometimes if you want to get really serious about something. Its topics like dualism, materialism and god that are actually quite touchy. A lot of people get pissed if you state stuff as facts even though they think they know they’re not. Thats especially quite the serious thing because i got a personal view of my own. For example, i’d descripe myself as some sort of dualist that actually thinks that the truth is something of a mix between a lot of views out there. The thing is, i dont mind if you dont agree with me. What i do mind though is that you are criticizing others opinions without knowing any better. These topics that i mentioned are nothing that you can answer with something explicit. Thing is, many people think they can exactly do that. Why? Well, i dont know for sure.

Thats propably because of the whole science thingy. Dont get me wrong, i really like science. Its amazing what we know these days about life. Problem is, we cant explain as much as we think we can with that. Many people dont realize that. Thats pretty much the problem though. We are not all knowing. And well, what we also need to remember is that science is not something godlike. I read stuff from quite a lot of people in the internet that trust science like it knows everything. Even some academic people (and thats the guys that actually do the science we are talking about right here) think so too(well yeah, screw subjective personal experience.). And you know what? Thats just the minor problem. I guess what im more irritated by is that we actually say that we are open minded, just to crush that whole intend by banning some thoughts from our minds because they dont fit in the world view of our society.

Sure, there is history behind that. A good example for stuff that is actually banned from the current scientific materialistic world view is everything that is paranormal. To be honest, if i think about that stuff my first thought is pretty much always “but i learned that this stuff doesnt exist”. Well, doesnt it? Im the wrong person to decide that. My argument here is that many dont have any doubt about that being the truth. Why? Thats pretty much the fault of a lot of people who faked stuff to scam others. Naturally people wont trust stuff like that anymore after a while. Additionally to that, due to bullcrap the church did in the last couple of hundred years all spiritual things actually detoriated. Materialism and science where the new big things and well, they brought us to that point where humanity is right now. But there is no guarantee that this stuff is the only truth. And well, i like to believe that it isnt. That doesnt mean im into all paranormal stuff – im just saying that we should be doubtful at ALL times. Dont trust the knowledge you take for certain.

And well, in connection to that scientific proof is getting slaughtered too, especially the stuff from Neuroscience. Its amazing what these guys know about our brains and how they work – but they cant explain everything thats going on in there yet. And even if they could explain at some point where e.g. consciousness is created it wouldnt explain everything. The ‘why’ and ‘how’ would be still unanswered. And thats propably the point where quantum physics is taking over(there are quite a few thoeries about that out there, like small quantum operations in microtubbles in our brains. Note that these are still theories.). But well, thats something where the future will tell us more. We just dont know enough about that yet.

But oh well, i discussed stuff anyways. I thought i wouldnt but i still did :( That stuff is just…too interesting to let it slide by. Everytime im thinking about these things im getting that weird excited feeling i had when i was a kid and i bought a new amazing game. I dont know why though.

I dont know what im doooooing…

It’s a me, it’s a…wait, i wont tell you my name. Why would i do that?

I mean like, one of you could actually think that im a sane person that is working every day. But it aint be like that pal, you know what im saying?

Im more like a lunatic that isnt running wild because the sanity is still working. Yep, that is pretty accurate. Anyways…

How are you guys doing? Still thinking about your things? I mean, im doing the same. Every day. We people of the internets are always doing our things, having fun. And im not really sure what im writing about right here, but hey, whatever. Im pretty much in a state between crazy and panic mode right now – i cant decide which one would be more appropriate. But well, you wouldnt actually decide for any one of them, wouldnt you? And you propably dont decide do be crazy and stuff, right? Because people who are doing that are attention whores. Yep. Thats how life works.And if you dont believe that, believe in me. Because i have no fucking clue what im talking about, what makes me as believable as every politican out there. I dont know what im doing, i dont know what you know and im pretty sure my head is filled with air. Perfect, i should go for Bundeskanzler (Federal chancellor or something in english. You know, something like Merkel). Hell, i dont even know if i know shit about the stuff im scared about. Im scared anyways, because i think i know that i know while i dont. Crazy shit right here. But well, on the other hand, im totally authentic because of that. And that kids is what science is all about.

Instead of me writing any more random gibberish, let me talk about some stuff i want to go on about in the neat future:

- Some of my dearest hobbies and interests. Because you guys really like to know that. I know you do, dont be shy. You WILL want to know.

- Some topics of the science world. I know that i once wrote that i cant explain shit because i dont know enough to do so – but well, let me try that anyways. There are quite a few topics that im so insanely interested in, i just cant keep it to myself.

- Well, im from Europe, and as you might know the people down here like to have fun while being totally serious about it. I mean, stuff like

is worthwhile to talk about, am i right? (Its a article about the german bundeswehr being bad. Nothing new here though. Stuff’s hilarious).

- There’s also stuff happening in my everyday life. Im seeing things from a rather unique perspective, so look forward to that stuff.

Now you might wonder, why is he summarizing AGAIN? I already did that like 5 blog posts ago. Well, i do that because i like it.

What, you cant understand that?

Well, let that wise guy make it clear for me:

Now you know.

Friendship is magic! The real life – internet problem

Well hello there!

It took me a few days to get a new blog post going, but here it is!

And its about a touchy topic as well.

Have you ever had the situation where you had like 0 friends in your life? Im not talking about an evening where you are alone and you think everyone abandoned you. Im talking about a ongoing process where you literally had no one to talk to or do things with.

As much as i know many people experience that. When it is like that you’re feeling helpless. You dont have any friends, how would you change that? There are several advices for that kind of stuff. My point here is NOT to tell you how to solve that problem. My take on this is that something like that can NOT be solved with the most of the stuff people tell you to do to get more friends.

So, lets get this thing going.

First of all, let me provide you with a link form reddit, specifically to that topic:

You dont have to read it completely. The conclusion of it is that you got to act like a friend towards others to get friends. Well, that does sound pretty logical, doesnt it? Funny thing is, its not that easy (atleast for me and propably thousands of other guys and girls out there). I read the whole thing. The guy there realized that he needs to do stuff in order to make other people recognize him as a nice guy. Im personally in a situation where i got abondened by pretty much everyone out there due to constantly moving from one place to another while not having the ability to make friends easily. So, who exactly should i be friendly with? I mean, sure i work. There are other people there. But well, do they want to be friendly with me? Frankly, im not sure about that. They are there to actually work. They dont wanna converse all the time. And well, im not getting money for that either. So that propably isnt the right place to do that. So, i could go to clubs and several other places in my free time. Do i want that? Well, why not? Since im not much of a sportive guy i propably shouldnt do something like football or soccer. Im more into the whole computer-internet stuff. So, where do i find clubs for that? In the internet (the place with the highest propability to find that). And well, there we go again. Im actually in the internet right now to write this blog post – so, im propably doing the right thing, huh? Well, different people got different takes on that. But im going to write about that later on in this post.

Lets continue with getting real life friends. How to do that? I already wrote about getting them by meeting people in clubs and at work. You could get friends there, but work is propably the wrong place to do so because you are there to earn money and clubs…well, that only works if you like those kind of things. Whats left? Randomly talk to people on the street? Nope. Trying to talk to people i once knew? Surprisingly i already tried that a couple of times. Those guys just told me that they already got friends and they dont need another one (one of them actually said that. I didnt even mention being friends to him though). With those guys i also actually tried to be friendly. I invited them to do something. Its the thing the guy in the reddit link is talking about. It didnt work. You might say right here “you have to try it more then once”. I did that. Not working.

And well, sometimes there are also people that are actually doing things with their friends that are..well.. too expensive for me. There was like one guy that actually invited me to play with him and his other friends on that new nintendo console. I really REALLY would have liked to do that. Sad thing is, i cant afford that console.

So, whats left then? Cuddle up in a hole and cry? Dear people of the internet, you shall not be afraid. You are not alone! Honestly, you are not. While reading this (you did it this far – im proud of you) you are actually interacting with me in some kind of form. You might say stuff like “lol, 0/10, what a fag” or other things like “i know how that feels bro”. Doesnt matter what your opinion on that is – there is a correlation there. You may will post in the comment section or write in some forum about that topic. Isnt that some kind of interpersonal communication too? Yes it is. And well, if you are into games its getting even better. Do NOT believe people who are telling you that these guys that you are knowing from the internet are not your real friends, play buddies, whatever you wanna call them. They are just as real as those people walking on the street. Why would that be not like that? I mean, you are doing things together. Sure, you are sitting on a computer while doing so, but does that really matter? No, it doesnt.

That brings me back to the question i asked myself earlier on.

“Im actually in the internet right now to write this blog post – so, im propably doing the right thing, huh?”

There is a answer for that. Am i doing the right thing to get some friends? Well, yes. Im interacting with people. Thats important. And to be honest, that guy from the reddit link wasnt all that wrong. That stuff isnt only working in real life- its the same thing in the web. Be nice to people and they’ll be nice to you. Sure, there are dicks and trolls and whatever. But to be perfectly honest, guys like that also exist in real life. Its just that you can recognize them easier around here.

You could say at that point that i couldnt do real life things with my internet friends because i only know them from there. You are wrong. I already met several of those fine people that i knew from games. Most of them are already beyond the point of caring about people saying that they’re wasting their lifes. Its really impressive. They just do things and have fun while doing so. And well, you might think that you cant have a love life while living like that, huh? Sure, theres online dating. Yep, thats not always working. Just because its online doesnt mean its getting that much easier. I really doubt that you would get the girl for your life from just speaking to just one woman at a bar – why would it be that easy on the internet? Im speaking from experience here. Im not the kind of guy that changes his girlfriend quickly. Im also a nerdy cunt. Good news is, despite that i already had 2 girlfriends in my life (and i got both from the internet). I dont know why and everything, but i did. How? “Talk” to people. Just write them. Thats actually easier than in real life. You cant lose anything, right? Just write them. And dont lose hope if one of those girls out there isnt answering. Hell, i might sound like a bad person saying that, but you could use a template text for that too. The important thing is that you act. People dont act themselves, they want you to do things. Thats not always as easy as it sounds, i know. I also got problems with acting instead of reacting from time to time. But its the way to go. People are lazy cunts.

Anyways, dear people of the internet, dont let others fool you. You are not a loner just because you dont wanna go to sports or you’re playing games all day. But well, just to be clear: That doesnt mean you shouldnt try to do real life stuff if you got the opportunity. It just means that you shouldnt try too hard. You’re already surrounded by people anyways, you dont have to worry about being alone. You just dont realize that these people are there.

And if you still worry about it, why dont you start right now? Feel free to write me, ill answer. That would be one person you’d already be communicating with. (:

Online dating madness

so, hi guys.

Well, i already wrote about how im living in my new appartment now, right?

Its pretty large. Too large for me i guess. It feels kinda empty and lonely :o I dont even know what i should do about that. I can put as much stuff as i want in here, it wont get better, im sure of that. Well damn.

Btw, have you ever tried to date a girl ( or a boy) that you met on the internet? Well, i did that quite a few times. To be honest, i would like to do that again. But well, theres a problem right there: How do i find a girl that actually wants to meet somewhere? Well, to do so we need to chat with some female human beings first, right?

You may think that this is quite the easy task, but you’re wrong. I wrote like a couple hundred girls already. Most of them dont reply. I actually tried to be original for quite a while too. I read their profiles and tried to start a conversation specifically with the information that i had about them. Didnt work, they still ignored me. So, what was the problem there? Despite me being a bearded nerd, i dont really know. Im not writing anything perverted or anything like that, so that cant be the reason for that. The girls around here may be just arrogant german fucks, but im not sure if i can generalize like that right here.

So, whats the problem here? Is it because of the internet? I dont think so. Its not all bad around here; you can find someone who is actually responding. And i kinda got a feeling how to do so.

First of all you need a profile picture that shows how strong and manly you are. Im talking about muscles. Girls seem to like that. No one cares about your brain power; you might think that could be important these days. YOU’RE WRONG. Its all about the muscles. I know that some girls will stop right here and yell “but im on the internet and i dont like men with muscles”. Lies. If you would have a choice you wouldnt take the fat one.

Secondly, be pushy and perverted. Make some bad jokes. Girls seem to like that crude stuff. Why? Heck if i know. Being a douche is always a winner.

And there may be more points to that, but im getting lazy. Point is, i suck at online dating. I doubt that any coach out there could change that. But well…

Guess ill just keep trying without being a prick. Because thats how i do things.

Im just sitting here…

…and they taaalk to meee.

Na, they dont. The people i mean. There’s no one around right now. And you know what? Im fine with that. And well, that statement is not totally true anyways. I was at the grocery store this morning (its called edeka in germany). And i also had to register as a new resident in that village i moved in to. I obviously had to talk there. But right now im done with that. Yep. And im sitting in my chair in front of my computer, playing games, listening to music, having a good time. The alcohol and the girls are missing though. But well, im a bearded fat nerd, guess i wont get the girls anytime soon. But alcohol, maybe. And you know what? Im perfectly fine with that. For now. A bit. I mean, it could be worse, right? :>

Back from vacation

Hi guys,

im back. Well, nearly. Im still on vacation, but im going to start writing in this blog again. Got the feeling that the internet needs me and my unique view of the world. And well, since im living in my own appartment now (with my own bath, wohoo!) i can write you all the stuffs whenever i want. Alteast when im not playing Archeage, which is kinda like a drug for me these days. If you dont know that game, look it up! Its a amazing game that got ported to the west from korea. Its kinda crowded these days, but it got a lot of great features that make it worthwhile playing.

Anyways, im still thinking about a lot of stuff despite that. But you know what? Im not going to write about that. Why? Because there are no answers for a lot of these things. You can stack up all the knowledge in the world about that stuff, you wont find any solid answer that explains it all. Also, you might think about it too. Lastly, i dont have the knowledge to explain the background information for a lot of these theories out there that try to explain the world. Other people can do that better than me. So, i wont. Instead im going to write like a numb nut about silly things that might or might not happened to me. Just like i did till now. It doesnt matter how things work for now; lets have some fun :D

Aaaand now im going to cook something to eat.


Philosophical gibberish

Sorry for not posting for a few days, im on vacation right now. Or something like that – i mean, im at home, but im doing various things. I recently found a strong interested in physics, philosophy and biology, which is totally weird to me, but well.And im still pondering about the big questions in life. Especially stuff that involves life after death seems kinda interesting to me. A lot of people got a lot of opinions on this topic and if you want to get some decent information out of all that stuff you need to filter everything. And you propably shouldnt believe in any radical people. ITs totally legit to be a radical materialist or a religious person. Its also fine to believe in the quantum mind or bio-centrism or stuff like that. The important thing is: Never ever say that the stuff that you are believing in is the only thing that is possible. Because it isnt. Keep your mind open to everything and stay sceptical. We humans dont know so much stuff, i doubt that we can say what is right and what is wrong. Plus we dont see everything that is going on in this world. Even modern science cant explain everything (even though a surprisingly large number of people out there think so. Thats a thing that is associated with the current society out there. Many people think that humanity solved every mystery there ever was. That is not true though.).

Conclusion: Never stop asking questions. And dont even think that the knowledge you have right now is final. The only thing that we propably know for sure is that we dont know everything.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 75 other followers