I shall do that… in the future! Believe that!

Hi guys.

How are you doing? Took me a while (again!) to write another blog post. It wasnt like i was totally busy or something; it was pretty much just the usual stuff. You know, researching stuff, working, watching anime, playing games (dragon age 3…wohooo). Nothing out of the ordinary. But well, i just… i dont know, didnt want to write.

I actually thought some stuff up though.

Firstly, My male bunny will go to the veterinary. Tomorrow. Nope, not castration. Not now atleast. The doc just wants to see how far he is developed, since i was kinda worried about him. You know, hes actually trying to bite through those cagemetalthings. I would happily let him out, but he just doesnt want to when im there. He would rather break his legs then doing so. And thats why hes still in there. Well, even so, he will go out of that cage tomorrow. No worries, i wont break anything. But it will be an epic battle. The bunny vs the black-bearded hermit. Sounds good huh?

I also decided something else these days. I decided to start studying again. Yep, right. I mean like, i already got a masters degree in computer science; where else could i go from there except for a doctor? You see, im not out there to do as much money as i can. I actually dont need anymore than i have right now. I dont. Im quite happy with what i have. No, i want to study something that will help me in my personal development. And well, since im really into all kind of weird philosophy and parapsychology stuff – guess what im going to study. Thats right. Philosophy. I actually thought about studying the second one, but well… im living in germany after all. I dont know of any institution around here that is actually doing research in that field or anything like that. People over here tend to not care about that stuff. There is a institute for the fringe topics of psychology in Freiburg (south of germany), but i dont know. I heard once about them in the radio. They dont seem to be that important; and well, they’re researching dreams anyways, im not really into that stuff.

So, Philosophy it is. I wont do it full-time. I dont have the money to do that since i still got a bit of a debt from my last study thingy. Thats also why i have to wait a bit longer to do that. But oh well, doesnt matter.

At some point in the future the black-bearded hermit will be able to call himself that while hes knowing that he actually knows some more stuff then before. Aint that amazing, huh?

At dawn we ride! Atleast my bunny will, i wont.

Boy im so wasted. Again. Its like 11pm over here right now. Spent pretty much the whole evening reading threads in various forums. I can feel how this kind of stuff is draining my health. Seriously. I really do.But i cant stop.

And while im doing so, my two bunnies…erf, i brought them together yesterday and today for a hour or so. The male one wanted to fuck the female pretty much instantly. Hes like 9 weeks old now; he should NOT be doing that. The female one doesnt seem to like it (and i dont like it either since i cant afford baby bunnies). That guy needs to go to a doctor. Soon. I know that hes a lionhead bunny, but seriously, that doesnt mean that he can fuck everything that is looking like a bunny. He isnt some sort of cowboy.

Ill propably get that area were those 2 live right now a bit more seperated tomorrow. Will be easier for me to access them, because well, you know, i couldnt get them out of that place because of that. They would just go to that one place where i wouldnt be able to get if i dont wanna break my arms while doing so. That’ll mean less space for them. But idk, thats just for the next few days/weeks till they know me and i know them a bit better.

Anyways, thats about it for now. I actually wanted to do a blog post on the random philosopher blog thingy i made since i found some great stuff to write about (theres a whole bunch of stuff i want to share with all the people out there), but im just not capable of writing about such serious things this evening. Im like the eurpoean space satellite thingy that landed on that meteorite somehwere in space – my batteries are empty. And just like they did it with that machine i will propably soon activate my sleep-mode.

Beep boop. beep boop.

the black-bearded hermit, reporting in!


So, here i am again after a long day of hard work.

Alright. Lets not lie about that. It wasnt hard. Im still in that phase where im learning how to do things and everything. Pretty boring if im allowed to say so. The company im working at doesnt want to waste me in the ‘warfare’ between them and their customers. Thats on one side nice from them, on the other side its plainly boring. Oh well. You cant have it all.

Anyways, is there anything else to report? I dont know. I started watching anime again. I did that the last time…well… like 3 weeks ago? Im usually a pretty regular viewer of that stuff. I like how it is can be serious about it and how its sometimes trying to picture real life. Also its just the thing if you want to get your mind of everything else (: I need that. A lot. Im propably in danger of getting suck because im just always stuck in my thoughts. I havent talked to anyone except my parents and the people at work for like 3 or 4 weeks. I imagine that this isnt socially acceptable, huh? Well fuck that. I dont wanna be with people these days. I just wanna think. About EVERYTHING. Example? Alright. I wanna think about the fact why humans are so funny looking. I mean like, think about it. Why dont we have any sort of fur? In the eyes of other beings on earth we propably luck insane. I imagine my cat is laughing her ass off everytime shes seeing me. And im not wondering why Mrs. Ladybunny right here is scared of me. Guys, we are just one fucked up bunch of beings.

And thats all the hermit got to say today. Want any truthful knowledge of the black bearded hermit that is leaving in the woods of the blackforest in germany? Stay tuned.

Woop woop i got news… propably…

Alright guys, news! woop woop.

You propably already know that i did some philosopherish gibber-gabber on that blog, right?

Well, im done with that. Why? Because i moved it to another blog, that you can find right here:


Propably better like that. Not everyone out there wants to know about my thoughts on life (: I made my first post there just now where i explain the situation why im doing the things im doing. And btw, i’ll also talk about my favorite topics life after death and so on there, so dont worry – i wont do it here anymore.

The bunny-pics will take a while longer though. Napolean is a energetic one (he gave everything he had when i tried to get im out of the cage today. Had to stop, otherwise i would have injured him :/ ). Lia though… well, some beings need a bit more time to adapt to new situations i guess. Shes basically staying in one of those wooden houses i put down for them (shes coming out to eat and drink so, dont worry).

Aaaand now…im done. I wrote that fucking long story over there at my other blog, im hungry. Tschüss.

My head is spinning again…and there are bunnies!

Bah good lord i spent way too much time in the last few days researching my usual stuff. Im totally worn out right now. I feel like i worked 2 weeks in a row. My brain is spinning pretty much every day despite not doing any hard work all day. And im at a point where im not sure what to believe. I mean, i got stuff i do believe in, sure. But boy, it doesnt matter who’s saying it, pretty much everyone could disturb my believes at this point. Im not sure what i should think these days.

Anyways, to get to a less serious note: I got 2 fellow beings right next to me that are living in my appartment now. And with that i mean the bunnies i wrote about like a week ago. Will provide pictures of them in the near future.

I got the male one last friday from a private person. Hes a lionhead rabbit. His mane is amazing! At the beginning he was rather shy. He still is in front of me; but since i got the lady bunny a few hours ago he got interestlingly active. Propably because they are seperated for now. I want them to get to know each other slowly.

I got the female one today. I actually bought her from a pet shop. She seems to be less shy. A few hours here and shes already investigating the area.

Both of them are like 8-12 weeks old. Small little bunnies (: And it seems like they will be doing what they are here for: Having fun, live their lifes and bringing some life to this appartment.

Btw, their names are Napoleon and Lia. Hope itll work out with those 2 guys. And i also hope that Napoleon isnt going to break anything in there while trying to get to Lia. Hes rambling in there right now like mad.



Its not pirate day or anything like that, no worries. I just felt like writing yaaaaarrrr and ahoi. Thats it.

Anyways, i actually tried to discuss some things in some sort of philosophy forum a few days ago. I thought these guys there hold believes similar to mine – you know, being sceptical of everything, hoping for dualism and everything.

Boy, they pummeled me hard. Let me sum the whole thing up for you (and with this the average internet forums):

There was this one guy (he actually posted first, i still had hopes and dreams at this point) that agreed with me and said that he thought about the same questions before. He actually gave me the best informations. Propably thinks in the same way as i do. But it was really just that one guy (with one post).

And well, there also was that other one that fucked me good. You know, one of those guys that tear your whole post apart (and well, in this case he was propably right. I may ask myself the wrong questions. Idk.). Those guys believe in their stuff like it would be the horrible truth out there and everything else is plainly wrong. Im not good enough at discussing things to face those warriors of the words. Thats why i usually stick to blog posts – only the people that actually want to read it will do so.

And well, then there was that other guy that basically said “get on my level bitch”. Seriously though, he didnt write that. He wrote that he doesnt think that people that dont have the proper knowledge (like me) should discuss about stuff like that until their believe of fundamental definitions of various things is steady enough. Im not sure what to think about that. He is propably right – but at the same time, it pretty much sounds like “shut up and let the grown up people discuss that”. Not sure if i should like that kind of attitude or not.

And then finally the infamous troll showed up. Basically ignoring the whole discussing he was attacking someone who posted there (he went for the dude that teared my arguments appart) and then the whole thread went downhill. Good times. Basic troll rule #1: Derail dat thread over there before those guys get into that stuff and actually learn something out of it.

A little late and with a neutral attitude your average materialist came in. The whole thing was already dead though. I believe he was kinda happy about it since those guys dont wanna discuss either. And well, he posted something im not sure of how to take it:

I think the correct way to handle your own question is to ask: what makes the most sense of this situation?
If you ask yourself the question in that way, I think you will have your answer.

I..i dont know what i should do with that statement. I really dont. Im not looking for answers that i like to hear, i wanna know what is actually right. That guy propably thought that im expecting some sort of answer though. To be honest, i did. But i didnt expect that sort of…well, how to put it… gibberish. I dont mean that in a bad way. He is right. Partly. You cant always ask yourself. For me personally that wont help, since i already know that i dont know enough to answer those questions.

So, what did i learn from that discussion? The first guy gave me some good information. Im really grateful for that (and well, as i found out, he isnt even believing in the same stuff as i do… there are nice people out there who will still help you. Sometimes. I also found out that he usually is just posting crap). The other guys? Seriously, a few things were pretty good. But im seriously asking things i wanna no answers to. Answers that are not biased.

Let me sum up my current life for you

Hello guys.

So, while i wait for a couple of friends to finish their stuff to play games, let me tell you some stuff that happened to me this week:

- Yep, that girl that i once wrote with didnt show up till now. Propably never will again. Sad days. But well, i noticed that when im long enough in a chatroom someone will actually write me. Is it because i look rather unique? I mean, not everyone that is 25 years old got a beard like me. Even so, that didnt help till now. Sad days².

- Im still sitting in front of a linux terminal of doom at work. Im starting to like it. Am i ill? I want to hug a penguin.

- Im still reading way too much stuff about consciousness and god and so on these days. Its that weird feeling that just wont let go of me. Kinda get the impression that it wouldnt even disappear if i would know the truth. Basically because there is no definitve truth out there, but oh well. The more you know. Anyways, getting the impression that people these days are changing their minds. Slowly. From being totally materialistic to something else. Or something like that. What also could be the case is that im just reading stuff from people that are thinking similar. And what i also noticed while doing all that stuff: Im so terrible at defending the things im thinking to be true at this topic. I can do amazing things when it comes to other topics, but god darn it. Im just like ‘i dont even know what’s right and what’s wrong’.

- At the end of it, im feeling a bit better than last week (: I was so stuck in my thoughts, it really REALLY fucked my health. Serious things really wear you down. But its a bit better now.

- Kinda get the feeling that im changing to a more… positive person. Im not thinking as many pessimistic things as i did in the past. Thats a good thing, right?

- I’ll get a cute little bunny next weekend (: Atleast i hope so. The whole thing is a bit suspicious because ill get it from a woman that is giving it away for free and so on. Hope itll work out. The stage is already set (meaning that i already got a place right here where it’ll live). And best thing is: Its a girl! Wohoo! Im a pathetic little cunt for thinking that, but im going to be able to say that im living together with a female being. And later on there will also be male! Oh well…

I read that neuroscience stuff on reddit…some thoughts on that

Well well, look who we have here.

Thats what i like to say, but since im not seeing you in person right now that’d be kinda awkward.

Anyways, how are you guys doing? Close to finishing another week of work, huh? Yep, im also happy that im closing in on that weekend. That week went by pretty fast, i have to admit, but ahm… i did a shitload of research. As you might know from your own experience, it wears you out if you are always thinking about serious stuff. Especially when you are not satisfied with that what you’ll find.

You see, i found the /science-section on reddit yesterday. And well, since i am me i just went directly to the neuroscience part of it(Even though i already knew that i would think about it for days). Theres something like a subsection for it there. You know, the stuff there is pretty interesting, i have to admit. But ahm… there was that AMA with those 2 neuroscientists yesterday. Just when i went there it happened. And you know, theres always a guy who’ll asking a neuroscientist about his take on dualism. I could have guessed the answer on that before though. Its pretty much always something like ‘I hope to eradicate it.’ or like ‘i dont believe in it. Neuroscience proves it cant be right’. Or stuff like ‘there’s stuff like brain damage and drugs that prove that there cant be any dualism at all’.

Thats all stuff that i read before, its nothing new. Even so, that neuroscientists state stuff like that so clearly iritates me every time. How do they know that they are right? They dont have a single doubt about it. Some of their other statements cotradict that what i wrote above: They believe they know like close to nothing about how the brain works. They dont know how the brain works with memories and they truly dont know how consciousness is formed. They believe they know the last one though. But they also admit that this one is just a vague theory. Im not a expert on that field, but this stuff sounds to me like that is all just theories. Something else could also be right. And since you can look at everything from atleast 2 sides…
Right, i also know that i have to find out where those guys are coming from to fully understand why. One of those guys was the owner of his own neuroscience-lab. He was the boss. Both are respected persons with a high reputation. Plus they are working in neuroscience. If you exclude any person believes (they might just think so because they want to.) they cant state anything else if they dont wanna lose their positions. They would lose everything they worked so hard for. I mean, no one would trust a neuroscientist that is believing in anything that relates to dualism, right? Just look at Eben Alexander. He’s pretty much done with neuroscience. Why? Because he said that he had an NDE and he believes in it. Im not saying that i believe in what he’s saying (his background is rather…suspicious. I mean, he had no money, he had no reputation as much as i know… he wouldnt have lost too much anyways). But hes a rather good example what happens if you dont go for the world view your area of science believes in. They pounded him really hard to the ground. The whole thing pretty much shows: You are not just stating a personal believe if you say stuff like that, you are risking the life you are currently living. That relates to every area of science that is working closely to material-related issues. In my area of expertise, computer science, well… its not that problematic. Im working with machines – no one cares what i think about humans. As long as i dont get weird thoughts about machines though.Anyways, it still iritates me. They are so sure of what they’re saying. No doubts at all(Or lets say, they are not stating these doubts). What makes them think that it cant be different? They may know more than me (and you too), but they clearly state that they dont know enough to explain those kind of things. Stating that they will know at some point and thats why dont believe in that stuff – its fine and clearly acceptable. But thats not science anymore. Even so, there were quite a bunch of people who would take that opinion as a fact, just because a scientist said so. That reminds me of a sentence that i read somewhere else: ‘science is god’. Hmmmmmmm. Seems to be true for some people out there.

Linux – the source of all evil


I hate linux. I really do. I clearly remembered that today at work. If you dont know what that is, let me explain: Linux is a machine that produces dogmatic people that are posessed by a penguin. And if thats not enough, NO – the soul of that very penguin is regulary haunting software developers EVERYWHERE on that planet. Especially the poor guys that are trying to set up a server with minimal software.The terminal is a black gate to oblivion, trying to devour your soul by making you type weird things on a keyboard. Stuff like ‘ifconfig’, ‘iptables’ and that stupid vi-editor will slowly drive you insane. And if you are on the brink of losing yourself, dont worry – the cocky colleague thats sitting right next to you will tell you how easy it is. GUARANTEED. And dont try to say ‘but its better then mac OS’. Wait a second right there. Mac OS is bad, i agree. But PLEASE. The penguin knows no mercy – the apple atleast tastes good at first sight.

So beware of that penguin thing. He looks all friendly and everything, but hes your enemy. AND HES COMING FOR YOU TOO.

My mind is spinning…in circles! And with stereo sound!


So, i got a question today. Nothing serious, dont worry, its just about games. You know, that stuff that you do in your free time when you got nothing else to do or when you are a friendless scrub like me. So…

Archeage or League of Legends?

On the risk that i sound like a big fucking retard, but aahm…

I cant decide. But i want to :( I just wanna do one thing. I dont want to change the things i play every damn time. But but but… waaaaawwadfsdfas! Im just so bored of Archeage and MMO’s in general, i wanna change something. I never played LoL seriously before, i might try that. Or not.

No seriously, i dont know. Any opinions on that? I know that both are games that are not even CLOSE to be comparable, but FUCK THAT. Gimme dat comparison.

Guess i gotta decide on a latter date on that one.

Anyways, did other stuff happen around here? Yup, it did. Or well, it didnt. BUT because it didnt it did. Do you guys remember that blog post about that girl i wrote with just recently (like ~1 week ago)? Yeah. That one. She fucking stopped writing with me the day i posted that one. THE IRONY. OH MY GOD. Im always so confused by that. Why? BECAUSE THAT GIRL CANT EVEN TELL ME THAT SHE DOESNT WANT TO WRITE. Its like when you go up to a person, say hi and everything and get into a conversation, just to pull your pants down and run away while swinging your penis in circles. JUST LIKE THAT.

But, im not mad. I mean, im a sophisticated person, right?…

Fuck that. I was mad as fuck. I always am when stuff like that happens. Why? Because im believing in people. But well, thats propably the one thing you learn first in life: Dont believe in people. But i still do. Damn.

And soo, im (still!) that lonely guy, sitting in his appartment. Im right on my way to becoming a hermit! I mean, im growing a beard (and its getting freaking long these days…), it wont take forever to make that one white, im living alone, im not doing stuff with people, im thinking about life… Dude, im not becoming a hermit, im already one! I should start a church or something. I’ll call it: The church of bearded nerds. Those people wont get together somewhere to pray to god, no – it wont be connected to those sort of things. I mean, pray to your god, i dont care! The church of the nerds wont interfere with that kind of business! We will teach a way of LIFE there. Do you wanna grow a beard that you can use as a towel (even if you are girl, it doesnt matter)? Do you wanna have no sex EVER? Do you wanna be scared of everything that actually got more than 2 dimensions? Do you wanna look ugly and still feel good about it? Well, i got just the solution for you. So, first step. Look at that featured picture. LOOK AT IT. What do you think while doing so?

NO. Everything else except ‘oh my gawd, that shit is so funny, omfg rofl lololol’ accepted. And if you can name that person right there too, dude, you are already half way there on your way to becoming a nerd. Because nothing else screams more nerd than watching half-naked people in spandex that are acting like they would beat each other up. NOTHING.

And so, dear sir’s and ladies… Praise the sun!


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